Tuesday, March 5, 2013

My Holy Journey 2013 - penyucian jiwa dan keinsafan

I'm penning this article from my upgraded seat in business class onboard Malaysia Airline flight MH151 from jeddah to kuala lumpur. Why only my husband, my sister and i were selected among hundreds of passengers on board the flight for the upgrade, i can only assume is part of my journey as His special guest (tetamu istimewa Nya). Another unexpected rezeki for us. Rewards come in many ways syukur alhamdulillah.

The 'invitation' to tanah suci (finally) came to me in October last year when my sister needed a helper for her trip in March. Frankly speaking, all these years i have either been too afraid or didn't think that i was ready (don't ask me ready for what coz i don't have a clue either) for the journey yet. I am far from being a good muslim - I'm not even close to being even a moderately good one astaghfirullahala'zim. Sesungguhnya aku hambaNya yang amat berdosa. Ya Allah Kau ampunkanlah hamba Mu ini ya Allah. Kau terimalah taubatku ini ya Allah. 

For years my parents have been directly and indirectly telling and hinting me to make the trip and my excuse has always been money - not that i don't have any but something else have always taken priority when money is concerned. Duniawi has always superseded akhirat. Something that i now determined to turn 180 degree insyaa Allah.

But this round i didn't have to think twice and offered my service to my sister. Told my other half about it and he agreed to my suggestion instantaneously, alhamdulillah. So we both got the 'invitation' at the same time. What makes it special from the very beginning is that both of us are going at the cost of one. I can't thank my sister enough for the opportunity. The date of the trip too was perfect as it fell in between my menses which means i may be able to perform ibadah without interruption. God is making it easy for me even from the very beginning. 

But a couple of months before the trip, my period was earlier than usual. I was getting worried and started praying that i would have the opportunity to perform ibadah till the day i leave Haram. My doa was granted. My period came right after i boarded the plane home. He gave me the opportunity to pray from the minute i stepped down from the plane in Madinah until the last minute i left Jeddah - subuh to isya'. MasyaAllah. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah...

That was only the tip of my special journey. Weeks before the journey, rezeki seems to come from setiap penjuru. Suffice to say suddenly we (my husband and I) received money from unexpected sources like insurances and money we never knew we had in bank to settle a couple of bank debts (quite significant amount i must add) in full just days before we left the country. I still can't comprehend how that is even possible. Ya Allah ya Allah ya Allah. If that is not a show of His greatness i don't know what else. 

About a month to departure i started preparing myself for what's coming, physically and mentally. I bought a crosstrainer to train myself to be more fit for the journey in anticipation of the amount of walking i would have to endure and started reading books about umrah and hajj. But no thanks to Mastika (please don't tell me that you have never read this magazine in your teens) the closer it gets to the trip the more scared i get to step into the holy land. To put it simply, i was scared down to the spine (really). Another jemaah in my small group had high fever before departure because she too was too scared to embark on her journey.

So i started praying hard months before the trip. I prayed that my husband and i are accepted as His special guests, that my journey is made easy without hurdle and without dugaan and cabaran that are beyond my ability to pass. I was always reminded that pilgrims are subjected to tests in the holy land - that's my second biggest fear, fear of being tested the hard way. I prayed that I'm subjected lesson instead of tests. Lesson that I can learn from to be a better muslim. My prayers get more intense as the day gets closer particularly a week before. I performed solat taubat and hajat repeatedly repeating the same doa over and over again. 

Exactly 2 days before departure my heart was beating so fast (it felt like i was about to seat for SPM all over again) that i decided to take the day off the next day. I just needed to calm down and relax. A day off work did help me (a lot). 

We left at the wee hours of wednesday. My 3 elder children were up as early as 5am to bid us goodbye. I have never felt so sad leaving them behind in my entire live. That morning i felt like i was leaving them behind forever. I was really sad beyond comprehension. I kissed each one of them repeatedly and kept telling them that i love them so much. My youngest brother, who was 'summoned' to stay at my house while I'm away, melaungkan azan just when we were about to step out of the house. My heart sank with his beautiful azan. I cried and cried and cried... 

Our journey to Madinah via Singapore and Riyadh was relatively easy for me. Strangely enough i wasn't afraid anymore but i was really looking forward to the trip. We reached Madinah at the wee hours the following day. I cried the minute i saw bird view of masjidil nabawi on board Saudia Airline and continued on after i landed. I was finally there, in the home of Rasulullah swt. Madinah was very welcoming - the weather was nice and the people there were friendly. I can feel the warmth of the people of Madinah welcoming Rasulullah swt during his hijrah. In Madinah I was called Siti Rahmah, ibu, Siti Humairah and hajjah by the locals. I love hajjah the most. In Makkah, men are called hajji and ladies hajjah. May God grant me hajj soon.


Breathtaking views of Masjidil Nabawi

In Madinah, i experienced the power of doa and tawakkal. Our group is very small, there were only 11 of us including me. Hence, I did a lot of things on my own in Madinah. There i learned if one is sincere, pray hard and niat bersungguh2 insyaa Allah, Allah will make it easy for you. Setiap sesuatu mesti di dahulukan dengan niat. One example, He granted my wish to visit and pray in Raudhah so easily. My hubby was also 'given' the same opportunity, not once but twice. His was even more special. Alhamdulillah.

Both my hubby and i were helped by indonesians while in Masjidil Nabawi on a few occasions. He said perhaps because we have been treating our maid well and Allah sent indonesians to assist us when we least expected it. You give and you shall receive - that's His promise. I was lucky to have experienced it. Subhanallah.

Bidding goodbye to Rasullullah was hard. I never thought that ziarah wida' would be that hard emotionally. I was sad to leave Madinah.

The first time i saw Baitullah masyaAllah i cant really described how i felt, but i can say that i felt and still very much feel 'sayang yang teramat sangat' towards it. How can one have such feeling is beyond us - tidak sampai dek akal manusia. Alhamdulillah in Makkah it was relatively easy for us. None of us in the group were subjected to any dugaan besar, we were all healthy and judging from the way we ate I'm 100% sure all of us gained a few good kilos, alhamdulillah. A seasoned member in our group said that it's a good sign to have good appetite during ziarah and umrah.

My first view of Baitullah

But I must say that umrah is not a piece of cake for everyone. It is physically straining and challenging. Hundreds of thousands (if not million) of people are also doing the same thing while fighting for space. My husband jokingly said Allah sent Indians to Makkah to test the rest of us. You have to be there to understand his statement. 
The amount of people performing sae

I never walked that much in my life. It is really a test of your endurance, patient and determination. And every umrah experience is different, one could be fulfilling, makes you feel closer to God and it could just even be just a tiring experience. My second and seventh umrah were the most fulfilling of them all. I cried right from the beginning all the way to the end. The feeling of praying in front of the Kaabah is like no other. It's out of this world. It's beyond words, explanation and imagination. I cried buckets (big buckets i must say) in Makkah. Nikmat bersolat dan berdoa di hadapan Baitullah is unexplainable.

My husband too was blessed with several experiences that taught us both tanda-tanda kebesaran Allah. There, everything you say and do would have its repercussion, its cause and effect, almost immediately. Most importantly, what we do there must be sincere, everything that happened there is a test of our patient and ultimately faith. 

Alhamdulillah my husband and I achieved all the targets we set. My husband specifically asked not to speak about what we went through both in Madinah and Makkah unless we were asked about it. He doesn't want us to sound riak and boastful, hence i will respect his request. 

The day i had to say goodbye to Kaabah, while performing tawaf wida' was the saddest day of my life. I felt like i was leaving something that i hold so dear to my heart behind. I cried another big bucket. One can say 'menangis macam kematian ibu'. The feeling of lost is unspeakable. 

I'm certain that everyone would have a different experience and stories to tell. For me, my journey is one that strengthen my faith. I have never feared the fire of hell as much as i did when i was there. My journey was one that - mensucikan hati dan penuh keinsafan. 

My doa is that this would not be my last visit, not my last umrah, not the last prayer in front of Baitullah, not the last invitation from Him. 

I miss Baitullah already...


Us with jamals

 Us at Jabal Rahmah

Us at Masjidil Nabawi

Us just before umrah no. 4

Moi the saudagar unta

Azura Abdullah4 March 2013
6am Jeddah time

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's Supermom's Day

I have said this last year and I am going to say this again, in my personal view there is absolutely nothing wrong for mothers out there to be celebrated once a year. We have done lots in our lives indeed - made plenty of sacrifices that no men dare go that same path and went through tremendous pain physically and mentally to give birth and raise our children. Not to mention the heartache and suffering between juggling work and motherhood, while at the same time help our other halves make ends meet. Nevertheless, we did it again and again, no regrets, no fear but with style. I say we all deserve a gigantic pat on our back :-)

So no amount of people telling me that celebrating Mother’s Day is unislamic will stop me from celebrating and enjoying the day. I sincerely hope that they won’t claim that celebrating Hari Raya too is against the religion next *grin*.

Enough said, this year’s Mother’s Day is the best ever for me. Besides spending time with fellow BFF mothers in Bandung during Mother’s Day weekend, I came home to a little surprise orchestrated by the kids. There was my favourite cake, 4 handmade cards and a little gift from the kids (but of course the father paid for it!). My heart melted upon seeing ‘em, well what mother wouldn’t right? Thank you kids...I love it, love it, love it! A very special thanks goes to my darling hubby for making this happen...luv you babeh! I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder huh?

At this point I can’t resist showing off the gift the kids ‘bought’ for me. It’s engraved with my name and the word “supermom”, cool eh? I’ve been officially recognized as a SUPERMOM by my own kids and hubby...yehaaaw!


The cake – red velvet from BSC


The cards they made which are now proudly displayed on my office wall



My kids and I – I just realized how small I am relative to my sons’ size (oops where’s my tudung? Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, ampunkanlah dosa hambaMu ini, amin)


I say, never underestimate the power of human emotion, a show of a little appreciation goes a looooong way. Love you kiddos! Happy mother's day.

17 Again!

We made it! After 5 months of planning and excitement, 6 of us young ladies made it to Bandung on the 7th of May for a 3D/2 night strictly-ladies-only retreat. I may not speak for the rest, but a few days prior to the departure I was so thrilled and bursting with excitement that I dreamt about it not once, but twice! But I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say that we had a fantabulous time there – not just shopping and spa but by just being ourselves again minus the ‘access baggage’.

In all honesty, during that 3-day getaway, we forgot that we are all married with kids. We were 17 again! What a fantastic way to celebrate mother’s day huh? What made it even better was the fact that we speak at the same wave length. Thank you for making it the best weekend ever ladies! Love you all...muahhhhs.

Ahli Rombongan Cik Kiah Goes Places, from left: Mdm. IT (juara shopping), Mdm. Banker (the master of pilih baju), Mdm. HR (ketua rombongan), moi (*** counselor), Mdm. Engineer (the spiritual one) & Mdm. Corporate Comm (official photographer)


Day 1 – An encounter with a handsome tailor

We met at KLIA with our bigger-than-us bags and bags that could ‘beranak-pinak’, in anticipation of the amount of shopping that we will do (with exception of one particular Cik Kiah who brought with her the biggest bag of all but claimed that she wasn’t planning to shop much – yes, I’m heading somewhere with this!). We were literally multi-millionaires on departure day, don’t play play arrr.

After I kissed my hubby goodbye, we made our way to the immigration counter and the fun began! It was like we left our lives behind after we crossed the immigration line. From that point on, we exercised our facial muscles lots! We talked and laughed and giggled almost every minutes of the day I tell ya.

Upon arrival at the not-so-impressive airport, we were greeted with nice weather - a pleasant change from the hot, humid and unpredictable KL weather. We checked-in and immediately left for Pasar Baru, chauffeured in a relatively new Suzuki MPV by our personal driver cum tour guide, Pak Alex. Our first stop was kedai kain D’Fashion.

It was there where we met the handsome tailor (please pardon our excitement because most of us don’t get to meet handsome men often enough. The ones we have at home no longer fall in this category *grin*). Being measured by this handsome chap (at close proximity gittew) was enough to excite us all LOL!!! Fyi, if you are wondering, we tailor-made some pants and skirts for office wear, nothing kinky whatsoever okay.

Tailor yang hensem itu...on second thought maybe not so hensem, but it was good enough to excite us all LOL!


All in all, the 6 of us bought enough fabric to open a small shop in KL, and I am so not joking peeps. We shopped like it was going to be our last.

Next stop was Toko Tiga, the place to buy original jeans in Bandung according to Pak Alex. I didn’t get myself any, although I was tempted to get one - thank God I came back to my sane state (after temporarily went insane at D’fashion). After jeans we headed for dinner at some nasi padang restaurant. Boy the 6 of us can really eat!

After dinner we returned to our temporary abode and decided to have coffee outside (mind you it was 12 midnight). We chit chat till late at Wendy’s (since Starbuck was nowhere to be found) while sipping our do-it-yourself coffee, and the gossiping session continued in our room till, believe it or not, 3am!

Lesson learned on day 1 -Excessive shopping makes you hungry. You should see the amount of food we ate during dinner.

Day 2 – Temporary insanity in huge dosses

Despite sleeping late, we were all charged up to start our day as early possible. Had breakfast at 7am (yes, it was that early) and our shopping excursion began at 8am (really, amazing huh?). First stop was souvenir for wedding goody bags. Fortunately, we were still in our sound state of mind at this point though we did buy stuffs that we could definitely live without!

Next, Pak Alex wanted to take us to the handbag shop but we unanimously decided that fake handbags are just not our thing, sorry! Hence, we headed to Rumah Mode instead - my favourite place in Bandung. If you have not been to Bandung and are planning to go, do not miss this place, take my word for it. And guess what, all of us, with exception of Mdm. HR, went CRAZY shopping and emerged from the shop a few hours later a few millions poorer. Some, including a particular Cik Kiah who claimed that she wasn’t going to shop much, even went back for the second round to get more stuff while the rest of us wait outside under the scorching sun (kita bako sikit buleh?). But that didn’t stop us at all, instead, we were roaring to continue shopping (and even managed to forget about lunch along the process). What did we have for lunch again gals?

Rumah Mode...retail therapy at its best in Bandung #1


After Rumah Mode, we happily and excitedly hopped into one factory outlets after another and shopped like we were married to the Sultan of Brunei till about 6pm, thereafter we proceeded to the much-awaited spa session. God created heaven on earth, and last weekend it came in a form of spa after long hours of shopping. 4 Cik Kiahs decided to continue with pedicure and manicure but 2 other Cik Kiahs decided to continue shopping…moi is one of two who opted to shop instead ngeeeeee (you can tell where my priorities lie eh?).

Our shopping spree didn’t end there yet. After the spa we decided to visit Kartika Sari with the pretext of surveying what to get the next day at the factory before we leave for the airport. But we ended up shopping for some cookies and brownies for supper. Had dinner there too although originally we wanted to have Bakso. Rule number 1 – shopping comes first, makan second. That’s exactly what we did!

Reached hotel after all shopping outlets were closed (LOL!) and after we freshened up, we gossiped again till 3am while munching on cookies and yummilicious brownies! We laughed so loud that I think everyone on the same floor could hear us. It was really fun girlfriends!

Lesson learned on day 2 - Women could plead temporary insanity at shopping complexes, especially when we are in a group (without men or kids stopping us!). Even sleep deprivation won’t stop us from spending our hard earned moolah!

Day 3 – Revelation of a steaming hot secret

Again, we started our day super early on the last day. After we visited Kartika Sari factory and bought brownies hot from the oven, and guess what, we unanimously decided to make another trip to Pasar Baru...ngeh ngeh ngeh. I know deep inside the 3 ladies (you know who you are!) were just making excuses to meet the handsome tailor again LOL! We spent our every last penny there. Together, we bought more fabric enough to open another small shop.

D'fashion - retail therapy at its best in Bandung #2


After we were happily broke aka muflis, we headed to the airport with mix feeling – happy to go home to our loved ones and sad to end this wonderful journey with girlfriends. But, every happy ending must come to an end and it was it for us. We made full use of the last hour together at the airport chatting and laughing away as though we own the airport. More secrets revealed and tips shared - Cyberjaya is the word LOL!

In total, I only slept for 6 hours (sandwiched between 2 Cik Kiahs whom are not as small as they used to be 20 years ago *peace*) during the entire trip but it was worth it. And the particular Cik Kiah who claimed that she wasn’t gonna shop much was the top spender of the trip, congratulations Mdm. IT! And for that, she was punished by having to pay for access baggage fees for the group...ngeh ngeh ngeh. But of course we will pay her back...moi is equally guilty as charged. I do not wish to elaborate on another incident that took place during check-in...that shall be the joke of the year between the 6 of us LOL!

In conclusion, this was the best trip I had in years. We really felt like we were 17 again. And I think I lost a few ounces of my facial fat. Let’s quickly plan for volume 2 peeps!

I say nothing beats good company, not even sleep! And I say, only women are capable to pull off something like this, don’t you agree?

BFF forevar!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

DRIVING LESSON FOR DUMMIES

Ever since I became a frequent road user during peak hours again, I have this urge to educate fellow Malaysian road users.

10 critical lessons for Malaysian road users:

1. IKUT KIRI JIKA TIDAK MEMOTONG. Memorize this in your head over and over again. If you drive below 110km/hr, please use the left lane.

2. Cutting queue is NOT cool - it’s the opposite of cool. It’s super uncool and idiotic. It makes people like me HOT. Remember this in your tiny head - everyone else on the road wants to get to point B as fast as we could too.

3. Signaling doesn’t give you the right to simply enter other people’s lane. Follow this sequence – signal, look left or right (whichever direction you are going) and switch lane only if there is no car!

4. You are not the only one who pays road tax, others do too. Please be considerate and don’t expect people to give you way unless you have police escort.

5. Motorbikes are not meant to enter the right lane unless you drive a superbike that moves as fast, or faster than cars.

6. Slowing down to look at an accident (or animals mating at the road side) does not improve you as a person, your karma or your intelligence in anyway whatsoever, unless you plan to stop and help.

7. Decide which lane you want to take at least 100meter ahead. It’s best to use your brain wisely (this rule applies at toll booths, traffic light junctions & yang sewaktu dengannya).

8. FOCUS when you are on the road. Do not drive when you are hungry, horny, sleepy or have the urge to go to toilet.

9. Do not makan jalan. Remember that you are supposed to drive within your lane. There is a reason why the lanes are separated by clear and thick white lines. If you can’t see the lines, you should not be driving at the first place.

10. If you can’t stop them, join them – a perfect example would be using the emergency lane during non-emergency times.

Note to pedestrians: When crossing a busy road, do not catwalk or lenggang kangkong. Walk as fast as you can. Running is a better option.

Wassalam

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A wedding and a funeral

What a stark contrast it was for me – 1 week we were celebrating my brother-in-law’s wedding with the whole jing-bang on my husband’s side, and we were burying my nephew the next, on my side of the family. The latter was definitely a solemn affair for the whole family. God knows how sad all of us were (and still are), having to go through such event. In less than 1 short year we lost 2 close family members - my eldest brother and one of his young sons.

I’m not good at writing sad stories, in fact, I totally suck at it. I’m struggling to write this piece while fighting back tears so badly. But I want to write about him. I MUST.

Muhammad Ismail b. Azman, fondly called Me’e, lived a short life. He was barely 18 the day he died, only a few days after he received his SPM results. He was as healthy as a horse just a few days before he slipped into coma. The saddest thing for me was, of all my 12 nieces and nephews, he was the closest to us and I believe to my parents too. Even my husband cried uncontrollably during his funeral. That’s how big the impact of his lost was to us.

He will forever be cherished as a big fella who loved to eat (and could eat an entire cow on his own!), had the sweetest smile, happy go lucky although at times he could be a little bit sensitive, soft hearted and very protective of his siblings. He took after my brother so much, especially when it came to caring for his siblings. I think (actually I KNOW!) I’m not wrong to say that he loved his 3 younger siblings more than his mother ever will, and vice versa.

Picture taken during our last family outing in Penang in December last year. Second from right is Me’e, with his closest cousins.


Dalam kenangan...
Muhammad Ismail bin Azman (16 October 1993 – 1 April 2011)

We all miss you so much. May Allah swt grant you Nur in barzah.
Al-fatihah

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The new more adventurous me

I did the unthinkable today (by my very own conservative standard) - cut my hair really short (Halle Berry style) and got it coloured...woot woot! Well done Azura!

My hubby is ecstatic with the change (although he has yet to see it) but I know my abah on the other hand, will react otherwise *gulp*. I’m sure you can see how big of an influence my father has in my life. Even after 38years I’m still desperate for his approval. Is this good or bad?

And guess what, I also received a fair share of questioning from my second son today. He was bewildered to see my hair in a lighter shade and wasted no time to question whether it is allowed to colour our hair in Islam. See peeps, I have to explain my action to my father, my husband and my kids. It’s not easy to be me eh?

The answer to his questions is yes it is allowed (both harus & makruh, depending on the type of colouring done, but haram for temporary dyeing) to colour our hair with any colour but black, and using ingredients that are not haram. I wouldn’t have done it if it’s haram. The intention aka niat too has to be right. In my case, I coloured my hair for myself and at the request of my husband - not to show others (riak) & berhias (tabarruj). Wallahuwa’lam.

I’m beginning to love the new more ‘adventurous’ me...I’m lovin’ it! I wonder what’s next...a sports car sound sooo appealing to me right now. Dalam hati ada taman *wink* but dalam pocket belum ada duit *sigh*.

I say, I sure hope that this is not a sign of mid-life crisis. I’m way too young for it *denial mode*.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I wanna be a millionaire so freakin’ bad!

A couple of weeks ago my son asked me soalan cepu emas - what would I do if I had RM1million. He really got me thinking because after that I realized that having 1million ringgit is actually not a big deal at all.

These days, a nice house costs millions of ringgit, a very nice car that I like so much cost RM650K (if I throw in insurance and road tax, it’ll be a lot more), a really nice handbag would cost tens of thousands of ringgit (and we’d love to have more than 10 right?), children’s education would be in the hundreds of thousands of ringgit each (and I have 4 of them but thank God so far none is interested in doing Medicine...phew! Ahkak tak mampu u’ols), even a decent meal for a family of 6 costs more than RM200.

In my own conclusion, 1million is not sufficient to last until the day we die unless you plan to live in a kampong and grow your own vegetable to eat.

Nevertheless, I hope to be a millionaire one day. And I promise to spend my money wisely. Note to hubby, please work very very hard and make me a millionaire.

I say, I wanna be a millionaire so freakin’ bad...