My hero

I wanted to wait until the by elections were over to write about this particular story. The results of the 3 by elections are exactly as I've predicted. Not too bad for a mom who doesn't know much about politics.

Anyway, I vowed that I shall not write about politics, but this is not about politics, this is about how political ideology could impact a family institution. My objective of telling this story is for all of us to ponder on the importance of family values versus standing up for your political ideology the extreme way.

In the 1980s when there was a huge clash between two political parties (which I shall name party A and party B) – the time where there were 2 jemaah in one mosque, conflict of marriages existed between the children of the supporters of both parties, and plenty more that are not worth mentioning here. I am sure all of us could still remember that black period. The clash was more apparent and critical in the Northern states where I grew up.

My father was the only supporter of party A in his family. But he was always and still is a moderate supporter I’d say. His other siblings and his father were all fanatic supporters of party B. He was disowned by my grandpa for not supporting party B. So did his siblings. My youngest uncle, who is a father of 6 young children, is so fanatic about the party that he is willing to go to jail for a particular political figure in the North. He was in fact arrested twice for that.

My father believes that political ideology should not divide a family. He was called “stupid like a cow” by my Atuk and I think he was even called an infidel more than once, but that didn’t deter him even a bit. Despite his family’s denunciation because of his political preference, he kept visiting my Atuk frequently. He kept visiting his siblings too because he didn’t want to break the family apart. It was almost a weekly affair for my family – visiting my Atuk who lived merely 5 km away. Should he stopped doing so, his family unit may have had collapsed today. I am very proud of my dad for standing strong on his principle.

My dad is the eldest child in his family. But his siblings never once visited our home because of my father’s conflicting political interest in the 80s and early 90s. I watched this with so much sadness in my heart. I was only a child when this happened but I could already understand the complication then.

I thank God that, decades later, my uncles and aunts had accepted their mistake and ignorance. They have since made amend with my dad. I am more than happy to report that today they visit my dad very often, more so after my grandpa passed away 8 years ago, for he is now the head of the family.

Having gone through this experience myself, I make it a point to teach my children to be moderate in everything they do. It is crucial for them not to go overboard. I encourage them to stand strong on what they believe in, but not to the point of becoming an extremist. Most importantly, family must always come first. I believe that if we didn’t make a conscious effort to preserve the family institution, the world will collapse.

On another note, when was the last time you kissed your dad? I have never kissed or hugged my dad for as long as I can remember. But last year, when he was sending me off to the airport to return home after Hari Raya Qurban, he asked me to kiss him on his forehead. I kissed him with tears running in my eyes. I will keep doing so for as long as I have the opportunity. I love you Abah...