Sibling rivalry

I have four children. Between the four of them there seems to be some rivalry going on who gets the most attention and who gets the most in term of rewards – monetary value that is. My elder kids who already understand the value of ringgit seems to measure love by the amount and the value of stuffs they get from mama and papa. So when we were out shopping, they will fight for the same amount of books/toys and compare the value of stuff they get. On the contrary, the younger ones measure love by the amount of time spent with each of them. Well, ladies and gentlemen, meet children of the new millennium.

On top of the race to see who gets the most attention, there also seems to be grouping amongst them. My second son Harris can’t get along with his immediate sister, Ariana. He dislikes his sister from the day she was born. Ariana, on the other hand, loves Harris because she said her bro is handsome. Even my little baby Sophie has developed a preference to her sibling. She seems to like Harris the most, and vice versa. Harris adores her too. Even my maid made the same observation. The two of them seem to have developed an unspoken bond.

Ariana, who is very protective of her baby sister, fights with Harris to play with Sophie every single day, to the point that it gives me headache. She claimed Sophie is her baby sister, not anyone else’s. Daniel and Harris can’t get along as well. But at times, they are so close to each other. They even sleep in the same bed to this very day, although they have their own room. When Harris was small, he used to bully his brother. Nowadays, the role has reversed, he get bullied by Danny instead.

As you would have guessed it, there are plenty of excitements at my home everyday dealing with all sorts of behavior. I wonder how it would be if I have 10 children instead of 4. Perhaps, close to living in a circus!

I once asked Harris whether he loves his sister. He answered NO without hesitation. My instinct tells me that he is envious of his sister because after she was born, all attention went to her. Little that he knows that he will always have a special place in my heart. But I know that deep inside he loves her so much, he is just too bigheaded to show his affection.

So last night, in my effort to make him show more of his brotherly love to Ariana, I asked him to hug his sister. He ran like a wild chicken in the house while Ariana was chasing him to give him a hug. It was so funny watching the two of them running around – just for the sake of a hug. When that failed, I made him a deal, if he gave her a hug I’ll let him have my share of chocolate pudding that I made last night. He agreed. So he finally gave her a hug albeit reluctantly and half heartedly. Mission accomplished. I will try to get him to do this more often.

Harris is not the type that rejects hugging and kissing. He kisses and hugs me before he goes to school and before he goes to bed every day without fail since he was small. He just dislikes showing his affection towards his siblings through this means. I just need to work a little bit harder and be more patient to soften his heart for his sister.

I say dealing with children who have middle child syndrome is not an easy job. Don't you agree?