The end of an era, the beginning of another

A few years ago I kept telling myself that I needed a well deserved break...a loooong one that is. And Moi, being a determined woman that I was, followed my heart and went for it. The timing was just perfect, I was expecting my fourth child, Nana was starting kindergarten and we just moved to a bigger place in a very nice neighborhood.

Now, 2.5 years later, I am beginning to feel that I have enough, in fact too much, break. So much so that it makes me feel rather useless, worthless, unproductive (dan yang sewaktu dengannya) because I could actually contribute significantly to the household income with my talents (this is me trying to make me feel useful and important again *grin*). I seriously feel that I am wasting my knowledge and over time it’s beginning to rust, slowly but surely. I do not just want to confine my talents to just writing brochures and press releases for the rest of my life. Not to mention the low self-esteem moments that would come and go whenever I see fellow friends are moving forward and upward career-wise. I want to feel important again!

I still remember how it feels at the end of every month when my hard earned money was wired into my bank account. It felt superb. It felt like I have done something significant for myself. It felt like I was alive. It felt I was doing my part building the nation (alamak too much pulak ahkak ni kan). Spending our own hard earned money also felt equally superb, doesn't it? Guess what, I miss that feeling. As silly as I may sound, I feel that I must go back to work to feel alive again while my brain is still intact (and still in good working condition too).

And the timing is just perfect, Daniel has sat for his PMR, Nana is going to Primary 1, Sophie is no longer depending on me for nutrition as I had successfully weaned her off breastfeeding (yeay!) plus a system has already been put in place at home. My maid could work on ‘auto pilot’ mode when I am not around. She’s efficient enough to handle things at home on her own (she’s a godsend I tell ya!). In fact, she's better at managing the household chores than moi...hahaha. I totally suck at it!

Hence, on Thursday last week I made the biggest move of the century by calling my previous employer to let them know that I have decided to go back to work in early 2011. Sure enough, my ex-boss called me almost instantly after she was informed of my decision. A job was offered to me and Alhamdulillah it comes with a much better salary package *smiling away*. It was that easy, all it takes was a phone call and a job was offered at once. I couldn't believe it was that easy!

But, truth be told, I kinda expected it to be that easy. She’s been asking me to come back to work for her for ages and I knew that her offer is always open. What can I say, she is my biggest fan ever gittew...ngeh ngeh ngeh (perasan la pulak ahkak ni kan. Kasi chan boleh?).

InsyaAllah, if I didn’t change my mind at the last minute and if everything goes as planned, I’ll be closing another chapter in my life as a freelance writer (and also a tai-tai wannabe who failed miserably, LOL!) and starting a new one as a Corporate Communications Manager. I shall report for duty on 10/1/2011.

I say when you tried very hard to be something that you are not cut out for; at one point you should just stop trying. Perhaps it's just not meant to be. Bye bye tai-taihood, hello corporate world!