Sunday, February 20, 2011

Kids say the darndest thing

I came across the following as I was reading some stuff on the internet. Very funny...which reminds me of a story about a 16-year old school boy from Kuantan who represented the state of Pahang in a National Science Competition many years ago. In the final round, the judge asked him "What is Diabetes?", not knowing the correct answer he replied "Sakit badan". Go ahead and laugh....teeheehee. As you'd have guessed it, his team lost in the final round to the team from Kedah. The boy later became a top scorer in his SPM exams and went on to study Chemical Engineering abroad and married a beautiful and equally intelligent maiden from Kedah. They now have 4 kids together. Sakit-sakit badan huh...Thank God this young chap didn't choose Medicine as his career.

Now back to the funny stuff. The following questions were answered by 16 years old kids in Canada for their GED examination:

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

I say, if you didn't laugh reading the answers, you have definitely lost your sense of humour.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

I say if you didn't find this funny at all, you have certainly lost your sense of humor...

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