It seems that this low self esteem episodes would come and visit me every now and then. Of late, I have no motivation to write, no mood to go out and to do just about anything - zilch, none whatsoever! All I wanna do is sleep all day long. The circumstances surrounding my petty life are not helping either. Negative vibes please go away...shooooh shooooh.
Right now, I just wish that I have a reboot button. Wishful thinking eh? There is only one way to boost my spirit (since I’m too lazy to leave the comfort of my home) - WRITE! Thank God for blogging...phewww!
Last week I posted my open letter to my children on Facebook. It was more of a reminder for my kids especially my eldest who was sitting for his PMR, and to my darling hubby too. Once a while they need to be reminded of how we feel towards them, don’t you agree? I never thought that the letter would touch so many hearts. I guess when you write from the bottom of your hearts, it unwittingly moves and strikes a few emotional cords.
It took me a whole day to write the letter in July, just a day before my anniversary. And I was writing it while fighting back tears so badly. I cried a bucket writing it; in fact I still do each time I read the letter. The letter is my legacy to my children. I’ve put everything I want them to hear from me in writing with a hope that after I breathe my last, they will have something to remember me by for the rest of their lives, insyaAllah.
A friend suggested that I compile all my letters to my children and husband and publish them in a book, I loike! Although the idea sounds sooooo intriguing at this point of time, my only problem is I only have this one letter...teheehee . But the idea of compiling some of my entries in this blog and get it published is making me excited already lah. That will be my next project I hope. For now I still have to finish the 2 freakin' chapters that I've dreaded for so long. It seems like I’m writing this book forever (at such a small token I might add). No more books for me thank you, unless it’s of my own interest to write or if the subject matter is close to my heart. The time and effort I’ve put into this project does not justify the amount of reward I shall pocket. Not to mention my sleeping pattern has totally changed because of this too *sigh*. Nonetheless, this is rezeki from Allah, alhamdulillah. I should not complaint.
I say syukur & redha with pemberian-Nya is the key to a blessed life. Reminding myself to be contented with how things are and never ever complaint ke atas segala ujian dari yang Maha Esa. Alhamdulillah.
p/s: The title of this article might seem irrelevant with the content. But I like the sound of it...ahaks!
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