10 tips to keep your marriage alive and kickin’

With my hubby away, I find myself plenty of time to read and write. Not so bad after all kan...

[Warning: the content of this article may not be suitable for children below the age of 21]

We often receive tips via e-mail on keeping a happy marriage. I just got one a few days ago which I will most likely NOT read. In women magazines all around the world, there are plenty of similar tips too all year long (which I also never bothered to read). Somehow I always find this rather amusing...as I always said to myself and to my husband, I should be writing one of these not reading one.

Hence, in proving my point, I have decided to write my very own version of - 10 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE ALIVE AND KICKIN' the Glokalmama way.

1. Talk it out – This has become a standard in every 10 tips there is. Communication is the key for all healthy marriages – it bridges the gap between the two of you. If you don’t communicate, you could kiss your marriage goodbye. BUT don’t communicate for the sake of communicating; you have to be sincere in your conversation. Spend some time together to talk and open up to each other. Remember, men need to be told straightforwardly. They can’t read minds and decipher body language like us females.

These days we are blessed with modern technology that could keep couples in touch 24-7, mobile phones for example. Make full use of it, if you have problem saying it out loud, you could always text him (aren’t we lucky?). Based on my own experience, I get better responds from the other end of the line through text messages. Sometimes people communicate better in writing, mind boggling eh? In a weird way, sms-es keep me closer to him when he is away, not to mention cheaper too.

2. Make love – There is a reason why people call it “Make Love”. Coz when you make love, you MAKE love. Love blossoms more when you have physical contact. You’ll be surprise how often he’d say “I love you” right after. Think of it as a fertilizer for your marriage. The more you do it, the healthier your marriage is. So use your imagination, be wild, role play and don’t be shy. Remember, you need to fertilize your marriage often!

3. Presentation matters – Make a point to look good for each other. I do this out of respect for my husband. If there is one person in this world that you should look good to, it’s your other half NOT your boss, your friends, clients or strangers. I make sure I dress my best and hair in shape (thank God for rebonding technique. To whoever came up with the idea, well done!) whenever he’s home or when I go outing with him. Remember, men like trophy wives – even if you don’t look like one (like moi) take some extra efforts to make him feel like one. But this has to work vice versa too lah *hint hint*

4. Fill his tummy – take an extra effort to cook even though you are not a good cook. Make a point to prepare his favourite food once in a while and learn new stuff too. Remember, practice makes perfect. Men like to be treated like a king when it comes to food. If you need help, Google is always there for you, I've got plenty of help there. Gendang gendut tali kecapi, senang perut senang hati...need I say more? The husbands on the other hand should take the initiative to take the wives out for fine dining regularly.

5. Surprise each other – Once a while show up at the airport in your lingerie (of course you must know how to cover yourself up lah, di mana ada kemahuan di situ ada jalan), pick him up for lunch without prior notice in your sexiest outfit, buy him stuff that he likes (I love shopping for him), change your hair style, serve him with extra special food the minute he walks in from work, etc...all this will keep him wanting for more of you. Just use your imagination... The husbands on the other hand are strongly encouraged to surprise the wives with thoughtful gifts when she expects it the least (and you should do this regularly, not once in a blue moon *hint hint hint*).

6. Make him feel important – there are so many ways to execute this, a simple act of serving him drink, sembahyang berjemaah and kissing his hand thereafter (I always feel a very strong connection when we pray berjemaah), ask for his permission to do certain stuff or to go somewhere, all these will make him feel important and worthy of a husband. What men don’t like to feel important huh? When he’s happy, he’ll be more generous with you *wink*.

7. Don’t be shy, show lotsa affection – This is as good as making love. Frequent human contact between the two of you is superlative (I love it when I use big words...hehe). Kiss, hold hands, hugs and flirts with each other all the time, out in the open and not strictly in the bedroom. Drown each other with affections; it won’t harm you at all. I love this part because it makes me feel like we were just married. In a sense, it renews your passion every day. My hubby still kisses me in public and we hold hands all the time. I love it! I feel loved. Flirting could also come in many ways - you could even flirt via sms. I’d like to call it e-flirting. Try it and you’ll be intrigued!

8. Take time out together – Making time for each other is very important. No matter how busy you are and how much you love the kids, you need to pamper your nuptials with lots of TLC. Take time out, go watch a movie, go on a date the whole day and forget about the kids once a while. I do this at least once a month. It makes you feel younger with just the two of you. It’s even better if you could plan for a getaway. I can’t wait for Sophie to be a little bit more independent so I could go on one soon. I so desperately need one right now!

9. Work harder, make more money – People say money can’t buy love but lack of it would certainly make you a little less happy. Having a strong financial standing ensures your future and makes happy and comfortable living. I say money CAN buy happiness, at lease materialistically. Never say money is not a factor (it might be true a century ago). If you think it doesn’t, you are either been living in denial or you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

10. Doa & tawakkal – last but certainly not the least, we must ask for God’s intervention too. In my prayers I always ask semoga jodoh kami berpanjangan hingga akhir hayat & bahagia dunia dan akhirat. Don’t underestimate the power of prayers, ever! Usaha+tawakkal=sukses, insyaAllah.

For the husbands, remember this - a happy wife makes a happy home. I say BOTH need to be creative to keep love in the air for the rest of our lives...marriage is hard work, not an easy game.