Houston we have a problem!

My hubby is away...again. These days we see him less than 15 days a month and we are considered very lucky if he’s home on weekends. Right now I am seriously contemplating changing my status to desperate housewife! I am desperate for just about anything...kwang3x

This whole ‘away all the time’ situation does make me wonder whether I could handle work and parenting all by myself if I were to go back to work now, especially in a crucial year like this - a child sitting for a major exams. I fear history may repeat itself - I almost had a breakdown (crazy is more like it actually) 3+ years ago when my eldest was sitting for his UPSR, Nana was about Sophie’s age & Kyle was behaving at his worst – my hubby was away ALL the time and I had a very demanding job. This thought is actually haunting me every single day and has put my job hunting to a halt. Okay...enough of my dilemma, such a boring topic to read eh?

On to a more exciting topic - the kiddos. A couple of weeks ago my second son was given an assignment by his BM teacher to compose a poem for his parents – pantun untuk ibu & ayah. He was having problems with it and naturally he came to me for help. In my effort to inspire him to be the greatest poet of all time, I asked him to describe his feeling for me out loud. And guess what, he choked! I was thinking if he could tell me how he feels about me, i.e. his mom, it’d help him write with ease. He just need to follow his thoughts and say it out loud. But obviously he can’t, my son has trouble expressing his feeling for others. Houston we have a problem! A big one, huge, humungous and of a catastrophic proportion!

He is simply too inhibited, the total opposite of my eldest who is an extrovert and a natural orator (and I must say very persistent too). Now that I think about it, he has never said "I love you" to me ever, nor has he ever said out loud how much he misses his papa when he's away. Yet every night before he goes to bed and every day before he leaves for school, he would come and kiss my hands and expect me to kiss him back in return (he's my only child who does this religiously); and throws tantrums whenever Papa is away for too long. He is just not very good with words I guess. I think I was once like him...a long long time ago.

Now back to the poem, after some guidance he came up with the following (good job Kyle!):

Untuk ibuku tersayang

Ibu, cintamu tidak boleh dibeli
Ibu, syurgaku di tapak kakimu
Membantuku dalam pelbagai masalah
Ibulah ratu hatiku

Untuk ayah tercinta

Bapa, membantu keluarga dalam pelbagai cara
Manjaga keluarga dengan sepenuh hati
Seluruh keluarga patuh kepadanya
Memajukan keluarga hasrat hatinya

(notice the absence of the words I LOVE YOU in the poem, he just can’t say it...haru biru!)

I could only hope that over time he would overcome this hurdle and be able to express himself effectively with a little guidance from his ratu hati...insyaAllah. No mountain is too big kiddo!

I say this again, nature triumphs over nurture every step of the way.