An open letter to my children

I’m celebrating my 16th anniversary tomorrow. Time flies so darn fast that I still feel that it was only recently that I celebrated my 15th. It was almost like a blink of an eye another year has passed us by.

With the recent passing of my eldest brother, I am really not in the mood for celebration – zilch, none whatsoever. My thought goes especially to my young nieces and nephews who just lost their father. All my life, orphans always have a special place in my heart. It breaks my heart into pieces thinking of young children of my own children’s age growing up without the love and attention from both their parents.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, maksudnya: "Sebaik-baik rumah kaum muslimin ialah rumah yang ada anak yatim yang diasuh dengan baik dan sejahat-jahat rumah kaum muslimin adalah rumah yang ada anak yatim yang selalu diganggu dan disakiti hatinya." Riwayat Ibnu Majah.

Therefore, instead of writing and brag about how I celebrate my anniversary, I’ve decided to write an open letter to my kids for a change. So kiddos here it goes...

My dearest children,

Tomorrow marks the 16th anniversary of my union with your Papa. 19 years ago I met a man, the love of my life, whom I know will be a great father to my children, a partner for life and a companion during good and bad times. The man you call Papa today, who has been providing for us selflessly, who has sacrificed his youth to be a wonderful father and a husband he is today. Only God knows how much I love your Papa - the man who came into my life, swept me off my feet and changed my life forever. I could not find a word to describe my love for him.

Papa and I married at a very young age, we were both only 22. It was our destiny to marry and start a family quite early in life. Never once I regretted my decision and I’m certain that all of you could see that too. Unfortunately I have shattered many hearts along the process, and for that I could only hope that they could find it in their hearts to forgive me.

Papa and I spent our youth together as husband and wife. We ‘grew up’ together being clueless parents when we first had Daniel – our "chubby little alien" as Papa called you when he first saw you. He nursed me when I was recuperating from labour, cook, bathed you, washed and even fed you at night because he wanted me to have enough rest. He did all these while he was still finishing his Engineering degree and working part time to support the 3 of us. He did that without complaining, not even a word! Daniel, remember that. Remember the sacrifices your Papa had done for us. I know I can never repay him for what he had done for me. And remember that you will always be the little chubby boy that we fell in love with.

It took us 5 years to finally be ready to welcome a new addition to our family. Kyle, you arrived just when we felt that we were matured enough to be parents. The first thing Papa said about you was “he’s so hairy” and indeed you were (you still are and you will always be. It's a gift!). Having 2 kids was a whole new experience for us. It was so testing at the beginning that we almost lost it. But together Papa and I learned to be better parents. It was an adventurous ride for all of us. The little short tempered toddler will forever have a special place in my heart.

Nana’s arrival was a joy to us. I remember vividly what Papa said to me when he first saw you in the labour room “she has your chin”, he said. Of all the strong features you inherited from me he noticed that first. You will always be Papa’s little girl. And I know, you will always remind him of me because we look so alike. Alhamdulillah, like my mom always said to me, “setiap anak ada rezeki masing-masing”, as I continue my journey into my midlife together with Papa with more kids in tow, more rezeki seems to come our way.

Sophie was our last chance at being ‘young’ again, having a baby always make me feel young at heart somehow. When we first did the 4D ultrasound scan Papa said that you inherited my best feature – my nose, which I begged to differ. And guess what, I was right, you have your Abang Dan's nose. Sophie, having you was not without its complications, starting from my early pregnancy till after you were delivered. I am sure all of you can’t remember or even understood how I struggled throughout and right after my pregnancy. Dugaan Tuhan comes in so many ways children, remember that. Sophie is always special – you’re the heartbeat of our family.

Daniel, Kyle, Nana & Sophie, each of you are special and extraordinary in your own ways. You are the results of our undying love and hope. You are us.

One day, I hope you will find your soul mate, just like Papa and I did...

To my sons, I hope you will find someone who will not put her interest above you and who will always look at you and treat you with much respect you deserve. In return, I want you to not take her for granted, provide for her responsibly, treat her deservedly and love her with all your hearts. Remember that.

To my daughters, I hope and I pray that you will find a man who will take good care of you, provide you with undying love and allow you to be what you aspire to be in life. No man should ever take that away from you, you can be what you want to be, remember that. In return, I want you to be a dutiful wife, treat him with respect he deserves and not put your interest above his. He is your imam. Remember that.

In the last 16 years, your Papa has given everything that I deserve and need. He has never once let me down. And for that I’m thankful. He is my imam, my guide, my everything. In return, I hope that I have given him what he deserved and hoped for in a wife and a companion. But I also know that I can’t run away from mistakes. I could only hope that he could find it in his heart to forgive me of my shortcomings.

When I breathe my last breath, I want all four of you to take good care of him. Remember all the sacrifices he has made for the family. Love him with your life. If you could do that for me, I know that I have brought you up well and that I have succeeded as a mother.

My children, I’ve never asked for a gift from you but on my 16th anniversary, I am asking for these 2 gifts:

1. Islam is our religion, Allah is our God, Nabi Muhammad is His Messenger, Kaabah is our qiblat – REMEMBER that, never ever forget that. Jadilah anak-anak yang beriman dan beramal soleh, it’s the best give you could ever give to me and Papa. Your iman will dictate and lead your every action, insyaAllah.

2. Education will take you places. Jadilah orang-orang yang berilmu. Knowledge is power and it’s the best investment in life. Never let other people lead you to think otherwise. Papa and I may never leave you with mountains of money, but I know with the gift of education, you will find your way. Just like Papa and I did. REMEMBER that.

If you can deliver these two gifts to me and Papa, our job as parents is complete. I am only asking for these two gifts, nothing more nothing less, and you have the rest of your life to deliver them.

All four of you - Daniel, Kyle, Nana and Sophie - are the greatest gift Allah has given upon us. And for that I am thankful, Alhamdulillah. I love each and everyone of you with all my heart and soul.

I’m also thankful for another great gift, the wonderful husband that Allah has sent upon me. Sayang, YOU ARE MY LIFE. Happy 16th anniversary.


Love,
Momma
16 July 2010