Peer pressure

OK, I’m very the very sleepy. Sleepy to the power of 1000. I’ve been experiencing extreme sleepiness throughout the day ever since I got another writing job. I think my brain is unconsciously ‘rejecting’ this job *sigh*. To combat this, I could either take a long nap or blog. Of the two, for today I choose to blog...hehehe. Work can wait. Now let’s see, what should I blog about - the recent price hike? the proposal to abolish UPSR & PMR exams? Boringgggg... Ahah, I have something better - peer pressure!

If you think peer pressure is only pertinent amongst teenagers, you were wrong! Today, you can't escape peer pressure, it's everywhere. You experience it at every stage of your life. Sometimes you feel like you have to conform to your peers by dressing up in certain ways, you feel like you have to live up to the expectation by carrying handbags of certain brands, drive imported cars and even use certain models of hand phones. If you are a corporate citizen, the higher your status in the company hierarchy, the pressure gets more intense. Am I not right about this?

For men, peer pressure could come in many forms too - the pressure to smoke cigarette to measure up to their peers (thank God my hubby never felt the pressure to do so, Alhamdulillah), drive luxury cars, own a superbike, play golf, own certain gadgets, etc. God forbid, if they mixed with the wrong crowd, there could even be pressure to participate in certain extra curriculum activities that involve girlfriends, masseuses dan yang sewaktu dengannya (you get the idea right?) or have more than 1 wife...na’uzubillah.

For a full time mom like me, at times I succumbed to peer pressure too. When you live in my kind of neighbourhood, peer pressure is even more eminent. Sometime it even makes me feel like I live in a wrong neighbourhood, seriously! Me with my Cik Kiah look and attitude, definitely don’t belong here...hehehe. But, ahkak ok saja...I can go with the flow anytime.

Peer pressure is definitely not good, it’s plain BAD. And if you can’t handle the pressure, the consequences are certainly not healthy. It could break you and subsequently it could lead to a hell lot of other complications...again, na’uzubillah.

A reminder for myself...
"Sebenarnya orang-orang mukmin itu bersaudara. Maka damaikanlah di antara dua saudara kamu yang bertengkar itu dan bertakwalah kepada Allah supaya kamu beroleh rahmat."[surah al-Hujuraat, ayat 10]

For teenagers, peer pressure is more than just about conformity. It’s about a whole new competition to see who have made it. Recently it was reported that a group 15-year old girls was competing amongst each other to see who has more sexual partners, and the girl who won has over 30 partners...astaghfirullahal’azim (do take note that this event took place in Malaysia OK). I have goosebumps each time I read stories like this. I have to worry about this at least 4 times in my lifetime. “Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, jauhilah keturunanku dari penyakit alpa dan zina. Jadikanlah anak2ku hamba-Mu yang beriman dan beramal soleh."

My 2nd son asked me the other day “Momma, what is zina?”. I have to explain to him about the boundaries between a man and a woman in Islam and the sacred institution of marriage. I don’t know whether he could understand it yet but I hope at least some information did register in his brain for the time being.

Presently, my eldest son is experiencing peer pressure to have a girlfriend. How do you convince a 15-year old that having a girlfriend at his age has no benefits whatsoever? I guess to him conforming to his peers is more important than listening to advise from me. But fret not, I shall not give up! Momma boleh!

Last week the entire pupils of my eldest son’s school were given a talk about “Menjauhi Zina” or something like that. He told me that they were shown pictures of STD, explained about how abortion was carried out and things like that. This is so typical of Malaysia, we rule by FEAR. Instead of explaining to the children about HOW to avoid it and WHY they should keep away from it, they were shown the consequences of the action and instilled with fear. I say fear does work, but it doesn’t last long. We must make the children understand the why(s) and the how(s) to leave a lasting impact on them. Betul tak?

I told my son (while fighting back my tears so badly) in the car on the way back home from school, that the most important thing is we must know where we stand as a Muslim. I wanted to enlighten him further but I choked badly, I was too distressed to talk (I’m not kidding y’all!). Things like this always worry me to death. I wish I could just lock them up at home until they turn 30. News about children getting pregnant as early as 12 years old in the neighbourhood and children sneaking out from home at the wee hours make it even worse *sigh*.

I say fear not anyone but Allah. Our every action has its consequences, good or otherwise. I have seen with my own eyes seksaan Allah ke atas manusia yang alpa. Allahuakhbar!