I am far from being a perfect mom, far far away. But I try my very best to be a good mom in my own way. I am blessed with 4 wonderful children, an amanah from Allah to my husband and I, alhamdulillah. An amanah that I will try to nurture, love and teach to be the best that they can be, to the best of my ability.
But I can't help to wonder whether I have done enough, whether I have made the right decision, whether I am supporting them sufficiently, whether I am nurturing them right and thousands other questions in my mind right now...
I was raised by a very strict father in a very conservative manner. I was taught not to swear and to watch my words, to the point that I was apprehended by my dad for referring my mom as 'dia'. I was taught about the value of being a good Muslim and a good daughter. I remember yasin recital every Thursday night without fail, sembahyang berjemaah every night, and lots more. I was not allowed to go out with friends and deprived of junk foods as well. My dad still make it a point to give us tazkirah after prayers once a while when all the family gathered together. Yours truly is always the target because I still haven't covered my head till today (as you'd have guessed it, I don't really look forward to the tazkirah session by my dad. Am I being a bad mom here?)
I would like to think that I turned out good, thanks to my strict upbringing. But, no doubt I have done a lot of wrongs. Those that I regret and those that I think has made me learned life's lesson the hard way.
I try to duplicate what my parents did for me but in a different approach, not as strict as my dad but a bit more liberal. However, being a busy parent (although not an excuse), admittedly, I failed in so many ways. But to a certain extend, I think I did achieve what I hope to achieve so far. Instilling values that I been trying so hard to inculcate in them, alhamdulillah - both in their action and words.
On a lighter note, I still fail to get all my children to eat vege, get Ariana to drink more water, get Daniel to shower more often and get Kyle Harris to be a more physically active kid. I think the day that my kids started to love vege, I can hold a feast! But then again, I too didn't like vege until the age of 19.
Ariana is so much like my arwah grandma, she simply dislike drinking water. Much to the point that her lips are always dry. I have to coerce her into drinking water everyday. I tried everything from rewards to compliment to make her drink. My arwah gandma only drink an average of half a cup of water daily, this is no joke. She even took medicine without water coz she hated drinking water so much. I was the one who had to force her to drink. But she lived past 100 years and passed away in her sleep peacefully without any illnesses. I miss her so dearly. Sometimes, it makes me wonder whether all the benefits of drinking lots of water as claimed by doctors were actually true...
Daniel has started a new contest with papa this week - a la 'the biggest loser', to see who lost more weight every week. I hope this will encourage him to burn more fat. He is getting way too big for his age. I can't wait to see how he'd 'evolve' after he reached puberty. Like it or not it'll happen pretty soon. That my friend, will be another milestone for me - a son who has reached puberty, a teenager!! Just the thought of it gives me jitter. He signed up to represent his school in traditional dance today, which I laughed when he told me. I think that wasn't a very good move - the laugh that is. I should have supported him in everyway.
Kyle Harris had sports day in school today. I felt so bad coz I didn't attend the event. Am I being a bad mom today? I hope not. He participated in sukaneka and finished second. Congrats son! This boy really have lots of questions. Everyday he'll ask me plenty about my childhood, about science and about the universe. Some I didn't even know how to answer. But I did my very best to answer in a logical manner.
Sophie is learning to wave. Last night she almost succeeded in waving good bye to me. I was so happy to see her almost waving at me. But today she forgot about it. Never mind, there will always be tomorrow to learn new skill. She has started to move forward and sideways - I call this phase menyulur. Not crawling yet but moving like a worm. I love to see her move like that, cute as a bug.
On a totally different subject, I have been invited to an all ladies birthday party themed 'wet and wild' tonight at a neighbour's house. I have no clue what to wear. Help..!!!! Can I just go as I am? I think I might do just that.
Till next week my friends...I am taking the weekend off.
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